OPENING TITLES[]
(A couple of purple raindrops fall in the black background to a glockenspiel xylophone playing the background. The raindrops drip and play "Nothing to be done" until a big raindrop falls into the middle of the screen and forms a circle. Then the Cat in the Hat Productions logo appears.)
(On the Dr. Seuss Sing-Along Classics version by Fox Kids Video, the "Sing-Along" logo zooms into the middle at the bottom of the screen.)
Narrator: The Cat in the Hat presents...
(Cat closes his eyes as his bowtie spins, then opens his eyes as his hat squishes down, then up. Then we cut to the title.)
"Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat".
(Screen fades to black as the opening music closes. Then the screen fades from black as the opening credits music plays, revealing the top of Cat's hat. Dr. Seuss' name fades in and shrink while flying up. Then the logo appears underneath and grows in place. The camera flies down each stripe until it reaches the bottom of Cat's hat. Each stripe has a credit on it.)
VOICE OF THE CAT
ALLAN SHERMAN
MUSIC BY
DEAN ELLIOTT
PRODUCTION DESIGN BY
MAURICE NOBLE
DIRECTED BY
HAWLEY PRATT
PRODUCED BY
CHUCK JONES
TED GEISEL
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS
DAVID H. DePATIE
FRIZ FRELENG
(Screen fades to black after the last note)
Act 1 Transcript Part 1[]
(Screen fades from black revealing a puddle as it rains, then the screen flies up during a thunderclap. We see a house, with two bored kids looking at the window. The boy doesn't have a name, but next to him is his sister, Sally. Conrad has red hair and is wearing a white long-sleeved shirt, purple pants, and black shoes. Sally has blonde hair, and is wearing a pink bow and a white shirt with a pink dress, white knee socks, and black slippers.)
Narrator: The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. Just sit in the house all that cold, cold, wet day.
(We cut to inside the house as the kids turn left while their off-screen mother speaks to them)
Off-screen Mom: Goodbye, kids. I'm leaving now. (Opens the door) Have fun. I'll be back uh, three-thirty sharp.
(We cut to outside on the thunderclap. The kids watch the red umbrella walk left across the screen and they sigh.)
Narrator: Sit by the window, just sit there and stew, and wish there were something...
(Screen cuts back inside as the camera pulls away from the kids. On the left, we see the family fish, Carlos K. Krinklebein. He too is as bored as the kids are.)
Narrator (continued): ... something to do! Too gooey and dunky outdoors to play ball. Nothing doing, nothing at all.
Act 1 Transcript Part 2 ("Fun, Fun, How Can We Have Fun? (When There's Nothin’ to Be Done?)")[]
Female Chorus: ♪Fun, fun, How can you have fun?♪
(Fish rises from his bowl as sees the room full of toys)
♪Just sittin' doing nothin' when there's nothin' to be done.♪
♪Nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin', Absolutely nothin', nothin'.♪
♪Positively, absolutely, Absitivly, posolutely, Nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin', nothin' to be done.♪♪
(Camera focuses on a doll and a teddy bear at the table with the tea set, then we cut back to Fish, who looks at the two kids.)
Act 1 Transcript Part 3[]
Narrator: Nothing to do but sit, sit, sit. Just sit in the house, just sit there and grump, then, all of a sudden, something went bump!
(Fish blows a few bubbles from his mouth until a bump makes him swim in shock, then we cut to the kids looking left.)
(We cut to the door, where a blue umbrella closes and is pulled away.)
(The Cat's gloved hand shows his hat at the door and swings it down)
(Cat's foot slides against the "Welcome" mat)
(The Cat walks in)
(Screen cuts to Sally and the boy in shock and amazement)
Sally (Amazed): Look!
Boy (Amazed): A cat!
Sally (Amazed): In a hat!
Cat in the Hat: You will note, (Tightens his bow) I am neat. Wiped my feet on the mat.
(Cat jumps onto a skateboard, sliding his other foot against the mat, making it fly until it lands on the Fish and covers his bowl. Cat skates through the house and opens his umbrella, stopping him. Cat closes his umbrella and pushes the skateboard out of the room with his foot.)
Cat in the Hat: Why must you... why do you sit there like that? (Looks out the window) I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, I know it is damp and the sidewalks are runny, (Smiles) but what I can't see...
(We cut over to the Fish removing the mat off him and his fishbowl)
Fish (Mad): Now, you listen here, Cat.
Cat in the Hat: ... is why you'd sit there like that. I know some good games we can play.
Fish (Mad): Listen, Cat.
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): I know some great tricks.
Fish (Mad): Listen, Cat in the Hat.
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): I know that your mother won't mind if you do, and I'm simply itching to show them...
(We cut to Cat's hand pointing to the boy)
... to you....
(Cat's hand points to Sally next, and he pulls his hand out of the frame.)
... and to you.
(The kids smile, but turn to each other with uncertainty.)
(We cut back to the Fish, who hops right out of his bowl.)
Fish (Mad): Out of this house! (Points right) I'm warning you, get!
(The Cat in the Hat faces left in shock)
Cat in the Hat: Who's that? I believe that we haven't yet met.
Fish: The name is Krinklebine. Carlos K. Krinklebine.
Cat in the Hat (In realization): Ooh!
Fish (Mad): Now please, go away. Tell that top-hatted Cat in the Hat he should not be about. He should not be here when your mother is out!
(Fish holds his breath and hops back into his fishbowl. The Cat walks up to him and sets his umbrella down as he pats the fishbowl.)
Cat in the Hat (Reassuringly): My dear Mr Krinklebine, my tricks are quite safe.
(Fish blows a few bubbles. As Cat stacks them up, we cut to the kids watching how high the tower of bubbles is.)
Cat in the Hat: I invite you to join in the fun if you wish,
(We cut back to the Cat, who squishes the tower of bubbles down.)
Cat in the Hat: with a game that I call, (Puts the fishbowl on top of the bubbles and launches the fishbowl to the ceiling) "Up-Up-Up With a Fish"!
(We cut to the tower of bubbles slowly wobbling back and forth. On top the tower, the Fish topples from left to right while the bowl is tipping. The boy watches and we cut back to Fish, who is scared of heights.)
Fish (Scared): Put me down! P-p-put me down, you fool cat!
(Cat puts his hand up for the kids, and he raises his umbrella to the top bubble where the Fish prays on top of. One by one, the tip of Cat's umbrella pops each bubble until the fishbowl is back on the table. The Fish is relieved and calls out the Cat.)
Fish (Mad): Outrageous! Now let me repeat, and I don't like to shout.
(We cut to Cat with a worried expression. After the Cat blinks his eyes, we cut to the kids realizing Fish may be right.)
Fish (Mad) (Off-screen, to the kids): But he should not be here when your mother is out!
(We cut to the Cat depressed. He has his hands folded.)
Cat in the Hat (Sad): It's up to you kids, whatever you say. If you think me untrustworthy...
Cat in the Hat (Sad) (Off-screen): Send me away.
Sally: Well, he is getting the house sort of messy and dirty... And mother...
Boy (In realization): Yeah, mama. Back home at three-thirty [3:30pm].
Cat in the Hat (Sad): Hmm. A vote of no confidence.
(Cat sadly walks left to the door and opens it, but gives the kids a bow.)
I most humbly bow to the voice of the majority. (Waves) Goodbye now, off to Siberia.
(Cat walks out the door and closes it. A few seconds later, Cat re-opens the door and runs back in.)
Cat in the Hat (Suddenly angry): HA!
(Camera follows Cat running right until he stops. He then points as he comes to a halt.)
Somebody stole my moss-covered, three-handled family gradunza!
(In the next shot, the Cat in the Hat points at Fish.)
Nobody's gonna leave this room until I find it!
Boy (Confused): Pardon me, sir. You lost a moss-covered what?
Cat in the Hat: Three-handled family gradunza.
Fish (Mad): (To Cat) Hmph!
Cat in the Hat (Mad): So, that's your attitude, eh, Krinklestein? Did you steal it?
(Screen cuts to the kids)
Cat in the Hat (Sad) (Off-screen): There's a gradunza-snitcher in the house.
(We cut to a piano. The Cat enters from the right as he sadly sits down to play a song.)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen, now in tears): Things will never... be the same.
Act 1 Transcript Part 4 ("Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza")[]
(Cat inhales and starts to sing)
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano): ♪How dear to my heart was that beautiful gradunza.♪
(Fish blows a few bubbles from inside the teapot)
♪That my old feline father bequeathed to me.♪
(We cut to the kids, then back to Cat.)
♪That old family gradunza.♪
(Cat sniffles as we cut over to Fish)
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (Off-screen): ♪The old, three-handled family gradunza.♪
(We cut back to Cat as he sniffles)
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (On-screen): ♪The old, moss-covered, three-handled family gradunza!♪
(We cut to the kids now feeling bad for Cat)
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (Off-screen): ♪That hung♪
(We cut to Fish)
♪on the family... tree.♪
(Fish swims around in the teapot, and we cut to Cat walking up to a foot rest by the chair and sits on the footrest as he mourns.)
Cat in the Hat (Sobbing): I've been burgled... thwertled, by a fish. (Softly cries)
(As the kids watch Cat sad, they turn their attention to their fish.)
Boy (Feeling bad for Cat): Aw. Give it back to him, Mr. Krinklebine.
Sally (Feeling bad for Cat): Come on, now. Don't be mean.
(Camera zooms in on the Fish in the pot)
Fish: But I didn't steal his what's is.
Fish (Over dramatically): I'm guiltless! I'm clean!
Cat in the Hat (Sad): Thwertled by a fish.
♪I'll never see my darling, Moss-covered, three handled family gradunza... anymore!♪♪
Fish: By the way, Cat. Just what is a family gradunza?
Act 1 Transcript Part 5[]
(Cat suddenly smiles)
Cat in the Hat: Oh, They come in all styles, from triple G to minus aught.
Boy: Is it bigger than a...
Cat in the Hat: Occasionally, on most occasions naught.
Sally: Is it smaller than a...
Cat in the Hat: They no longer make that kind, (Stands up) but one family gradunza is always smaller than another.
(Cat walks left out of the shot as he sings in tune of "Auld Lang Syne")
♪Should old family gradunzas be fogot,♪
(We cut to Fish tapping his fin on the edge of the pot)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪and never brought...♪
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): ♪to... mind!♪
(Music stops)
Now, if I were a fish, where would I hide a moss-covered, three-handled family gradunza?
(Cat starts searching the house, making a mess wherever he goes. Then we cut to the boy pulling books out of a chest.)
Boy: Whatever it is, it isn't here.
(We cut to Sally pulling clothes out of a drawer)
Sally: And whatever it is, it isn't here.
(We cut to a closet. Some stuff gets thrown out until the boy sticks his head out the doorway.)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): Wherever it is, it is left in some lurch. But wherever it is, we must speed up the search.
(We cut to pages of an opened book being flipped around. The Fish sticks his head out.)
Fish: I'll tell you this, it's not in the unabridged dictionary. But let's find that "thing", and get rid of that cat!
Cat in the Hat: There are more, (clears his throat) scientific methods of searching than that.
Fish: And just what kind of science does the cat recommend?
Cat in the Hat: Why, the principle of Calculatus Eliminatus, my friend.
Fish: Calculatus what!?
Cat in the Hat: "Calculatus Eliminatus". I went to Cat Tech, where I studied the same. (Leans down to the kids and points) What other cats do you know who can make such a claim?
Fish: Very well, Doctor "Calculatus". Find it, and "eliminatus" yourself!
Cat in the Hat: I shall indeed.
Act 1 Transcript Part 6 ("Calculatus Eliminatus (The Best Friend That You've Got)")[]
(Jazz music plays as Cat dances)
Cat in the Hat: ♪When you've mislaid a certain something, keep your cool and don't get hot.♪
(The kids march behind Cat as he marches with his umbrella)
♪Calculatus Eliminatus is the best friend that you've got. Calculatus Eliminatus always helps an awful lot.♪
♪The way to find a missing something is to find out where it's not.♪
(Cat stops marching at a portrait of a house and puts out a black marker)
It isn't here.
(Cat crosses out the portrait)
I'll mark this "X". It isn't there.
(Cat writes a "Y" on the lampshade)
I'll mark that "Y".
(Cat picks up the apple on the table and writes "HKI" on it)
It isn't underneath the apple, I'll mark the apple "HKI".
Boy: It isn't in this keyhole.
Cat in the Hat: (To the boy) Oh?
Sally: And it isn't on my knee.
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): Hmm.
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): Mark the keyhole "K-three hundred" [K-300], mark the knee "Five Seven B" [57B].
(The boy writes "K-300" on the door above the knob, and we cut to the Fish watching in horror as the three make an even bigger mess.)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪We just jot down all the places where it isn't, and gee whiz!♪
(We cut to Cat marching as the camera follows him left)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): ♪Very shortly, we will locate where the missing object is!♪
Boy: (At the fireplace) It isn't here!
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): "Eight forty-two-J" [842-J]!
Sally: (At a cabinet) It isn't there!
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): "F-six-oh-seven" [F-607]!
(We cut to the Cat tapping the tip of his umbrella at the piano. The boy runs up to it and writes "22,000.11".)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): You can mark the piano "twenty-two thousand decimal point eleven" [22,000.11]!
(We cut to Sally at the fridge in the kitchen)
Sally: It isn't in the icebox!
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): That's strange.
(We cut back to the living room, where the boy points to the television set.)
Conrad: It's not on this TV!
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): Hmm.
(We cut to the Cat sitting in the chair)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): Icebox, "oh-two-four-and-a-half" [024 1/2]!
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): TV, "one million and three" [1,000,003]!
♪When you've mislaid a certain something, keep your cool, don't go to pot.♪
(The kids sing with Cat as they continue writing stuff all over the house, with Sally writing "42-0" on the teapot.)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen) and Kids (On-screen): ♪Calculatus Eliminatus is the best friend that you've got.♪
(We cut to Cat twiddling his thumbs while smiling at the chair)
Kids (Off-screen): ♪Calculatus Eliminatus always helps an awful lot.♪
Cat in the Hat: ♪The way to find a missing something...♪
(The kids run up to Cat from separate sides of the chair, and the Cat wraps his arms around them as they sing the last part together.)
Cat in the Hat and The Kids: ♪is to find... out... where... it's... not!♪♪
(After the final note, we cut to the Fish.)
Act 1 Transcript Part 7 ("Punk (I'm a Punk)")[]
Fish (Mad): Look at this house!
(A trumpet blare is heard and the camera flies around the room showing the messes)
Look at this! (Erases the marker off the teapot) Look at that!
(We cut to shots of the house a mess)
This uncouth, barbaric, pompestuous lout! He should not be here when our mother is out!
(Sally covers her mouth in shock, then we cut to the boy looking up to Cat as he sadly walks past him. Bluesy jazz music starts as the camera follows Cat left. He stops at the middle of the screen and turns right.)
Cat in the Hat (Sad): ♪Very well, I'm a punk.♪
(Cat turns to the screen)
♪A kratunkulous (Pulls his hat down his face) schnunk. Nobody loves me, Not one tiny hunk.♪
(Cat pulls his hat down the rest of his body, and the background slowly fade from the living room, to a patterned background that changes colors every few seconds. Cat waves his arms from inside his hat, walking in place like a monster.)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen, spoken): ♪I agree, I'm a griffulous, groffulous grue.♪
(Cat slithers left out of the shot)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen, spoken): ♪I'm a schmoozeler! A schminkler!♪
(A red and white striped tube slithers left across the screen)
♪And a poo-poobler too!♪
(The brim of Cat's hat comes down from the top of the screen)
♪I'm a horrendous object,♪
(Cat's arms pop out of his hat and he pops his head out)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen, spoken): ♪which nobody loves. I'm untouchable!♪
(Cat goes back into his hat, and he pops his arms out again.)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen, spoken): ♪Unless you wear...♪
(Cat's hands grab onto the tube and pull it up to the brim of his hat)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen, sung): ♪antiseptical gloves.♪
(Cat sticks his head out and puts the tube over his head)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): ♪So... what!? I'm a punk!♪
(Camera zooms in on Cat's angry face)
♪A kratunkulous schnunk.♪
(Camera cuts to an outer shot of Cat, reverting from angry to sad as he pulls himself back into his hat with the tube.)
♪Nobody loves me...♪
(The background changes to a light color as Cat sucks himself and the long tube into his hat until the music suddenly stops. The hat breaks off the ceiling and squishes down, then magically springs back up.)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪Not one tiny hunk!♪
(Cat's hands pull his hat back up, revealing himself as the screen fades back to the living room. A musical stinger plays in the background.)
Cat in the Hat (Sad) (On-screen, spoken): ♪I'm a punk.♪♪
(Camera zooms in on the Cat's face, and on the final part of the song, Cat looks right and smiles.)
Act 1 Transcript Part 8 ("Beautiful Kittenfish, Sleep Baby Sleep - Lullaby")[]
Fish (Mad): Kratunkulous schnunk! Shuntunkulous cat! Incratchulous... (Points as she shouts "out" four times) Out! Out! Out! OUT!
Cat in the Hat: Krinkle-fish, old fellow, (Walks up to the teapot) your little fish nerves are so jumpy-wumpy. (Leans down to the Fish) Fishenstein, poor fellow, (Pats Fish's head and smiles) your little heart's going bumpy-wumpy. Fishber, old fellow, I know what you need. You need a small tranquilizer. (Lifts up the teapot and exits left) You do, you do indeed.
(The Cat enters the next shot from the right and places the Fish down onto the piano as the Cat sits down to play it)
Poor, troubled Krinkle-fish friend, just relax, close your eyes. Your good old Uncle Cat will now proceed to tranquilize.
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (On-screen): ♪Beautiful kitten-fish, sleep, baby, sleep.♪
(Fish taps his fin on the edge of the pot)
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (Off-screen): ♪Your eyelids are droopy.♪
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (On-screen): ♪Bloop, bloop, bloop, bleep, bleep.♪
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (Off-screen): ♪The sandman on tiptoes♪
(Cat's gloved hand tiptoes up the edge of the teapot until he pulls his arm out of the shot)
♪comes creep, creep, creep, creep.♪
♪Hush your mouth. Shush your mouth.♪
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (On-screen): ♪Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. Safe in your beddy-bye, sweet dreams to you.♪
(We cut to the Fish feeling drowsy. Cat's hand places the kids' teddy bear beside the teapot.)
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (Off-screen): ♪With your teddy bear steady by!♪
(Cat leans his head to the Fish while singing "Bloo" four times.)
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (On-screen): ♪Bloo, bloo, bloo, bloo.♪
(We cut to Fish feeling tired. From his POV, The Cat's face is starting to get blurry.)
♪Beautiful kitten-fish,♪
(We cut to Fish shaking his head to stay awake, but he ends up feeling more and more tired.)
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (Off-screen): ♪sleep, baby, sleep.♪
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (On-screen): ♪Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.♪
(We cut to Fish starting to close his eyes)
Cat in the Hat (While playing the piano) (Off-screen): ♪Bleep... bleep... bleep... bleep.♪♪
(Fish sinks into the teapot asleep. He snore bubbles from down below.)
Act 1 Transcript Part 9[]
(Cat, the boy, and Sally tiptoe into the kitchen and the door closes. Then we cut to inside the kitchen.)
Boy: You sure relaxed Mr. K. (Opens the door to check on him)
Cat in the Hat: He needed sweet sleep in his bad-addled brains. (Drops the smile) But the problem of finding my moss-covered, three-handled family gradunza remains. Hmm. I need help, I most truly, truly do. (Starts pacing around for an idea)
(The Cat stops pacing and gets an idea. He removes his hat and sticks his hand inside it. He pulls out a box no smaller than a battery.)
In this box are my helpmates,
(The box starts to enlarge all by itself. We then cut to the kids reacting to such an extraordinary sight.)
Thing One and Thing Two.
(The Cat places the box down.)
From this box will emerge Thing Two and Thing One, and they can find anything under the sun.
Act 1 Transcript Part 10 ("It Can Be Done (Anything Under the Sun) (Part 1)")[]
(Cat drums the top of the crate)
Cat in the Hat: ♪It can be done. It can be done.♪
(We cut to the Kids and the Things dancing to the beat)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪They can do anything, anything, anything under the sun.♪
(We cut to back to Cat singing to the kids)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): ♪If your nerves are getting nervous, and your house is topsy-turvous, they are always at your service.♪
(Cat drums the crate some more)
♪Thing 2 and Thing 1!♪
(Cat's gloved hand presses a button, causing the door on the crate to open, and allowing Thing 1 and Thing 2 to run out)
Thing 1: ♪Fish, fish, there's always one, some long-faced, sour-belly son of a gun.♪
(The Things run of the kitchen. The kids peek their heads out of the doorway. Thing 1 twirls the fishbowl around with a cane)
Thing 2: ♪There's always some fish, some sour-belly fish who's only one wish is to flatten the fun.♪
(Thing 1 launches the fishbowl and Fish into the air, then he and Thing 2 dance right out of the shot.)
Thing 1 and Thing 2: ♪Doesn't like fun, doesn't like fun.♪
(We cut to the boy running right as the camera follows him in the next shot. His running and catching animation from the beginning is reused. The boy catches the fishbowl and Fish.)
Thing 1 and Thing 2 (Off-screen): ♪Good, clean, wholesome, innocent fun.♪♪
(Thing 1 and Thing 2 cartwheel together and Fish jumps out of the fishbowl and runs up to the phone. Fish tries to call the FBI.)
Fish (Talking into the phone): FBI? FBI? Listen! Listen, I am a fish residing at twenty-three twenty-two Magnolia Boulevard [2322 Magnolia Blvd], and I want to report a Cat in the Hat!
(We cut to the boy confused)
Fish (Off-screen): FBI! FBI!
(Screen fades to black on the final note, going to commercial.)
Act 2 Transcript Part 1 ("It Can Be Done (Anything Under the Sun) (Part 2)")[]
(Screen fades from black revealing the Fish slapping the phone for an answer)
Fish (Talking into the phone) (Desperately): Somebody please answer! (Shouts into the phone) Where is everybody!?
Thing 2: (Pops out of the phone) Sorry. That line is temporarily out of order.
(Thing 2 goes back into the phone and the camera follows the Fish running left. In the next shot, Fish jumps back into the fishbowl, and Thing 2's hands snatch it. Then, Thing 2 slides the teapot across the floor like a curling puck on ice.)
Thing 2 (Normal voice): ♪There's always some fish who doesn't like fun.♪
(Camera follows Fish as the fishbowl slides right)
Thing 2 (Normal voice) (Off-screen): ♪Good, clean, wholesome, innocent fun.♪
(In another shot, the camera zooms in on bowling pins lined up. We cut to the kids closing their eyes and flinching as the screen rumbles. We cut to the fishbowl sliding through the pins and into Thing 1's hands. Then we cut to Sally and The Cat, who is still singing.)
Cat in the Hat: ♪They can find anything, anything under the sun.♪
(Camera follows Thing 2 running while flying the fishbowl tied to a kite)
Thing 2 (While running): ♪This reactionary fish-faced louse,♪
(We cut to a closeup of Fish not enjoying his ride in the air)
Thing 2 (Off-screen): ♪doesn't like flyin' kites in the house!♪
(Screen cuts back to The Cat and Sally)
Cat in the Hat: ♪They can find anything, anything under the sun.♪
(Screen cuts to Thing 2 running into the open doorway to the kitchen)
Thing 2 (While running): ♪Of all the bigoted, bigoted bores,♪
(We cut to the Fish looking in shock and then plugging his nose and diving into the fishbowl)
Thing 2 (Off-screen): ♪captured fish oughta fly outdoors.♪
(The boy's running and catching animation is reused as the camera follows him running left. At the doorway, the boy jumps up and grabs the teapot, and we cut back to The Cat and Sally.)
Cat in the Hat: Thing 1 and Thing 2! Thing 2 and Thing 1!
♪They can do anything, anything, anything under the sun.♪
(We cut to the boy with the fishbowl in his hands. He is standing in front of the fridge, until he looks up. The camera pans up to Thing 1 laying on his stomach and looking down to the boy. Thing 1's "Hello" is reused.)
Thing 1: Hello.
(Thing 2 suddenly enters from the left of the next shot, swiping the teapot out of the boy's hands.)
Thing 2: Thank you.
(Thing 1 jumps down as Thing 2 stands in front of him)
Thing 1 (Thing 2's voice): Twenty-two [22], thirty-seven [37], forty-three [43], ten [10], sixty-seven [67], twenty-one [21], fourteen [14], eight [8]... hike!
(Thing 2 throws the fishbowl through his feet and Thing 1 catches it like a football. In the next shot, the camera follows Thing 1 running backwards as he's about to throw the fishbowl, only for the screen to stop when Thing 1 falls down the stairs to the basement. A couple of crashing noises play in the background as Thing 1 falls down the stairs until a cymbal crash is heard. Then, Thing 1 can be heard running up the stairs.)
(Thing 1 comes back up the stairs with hockey sticks and uses the teapot as a hockey puck.)
♪There's always some fish, some crotchety one.♪
(Thing 1 and Thing 2 pass the fishbowl with their sticks as they slide to the screen. In the next shot, the boy blocks the doorway to the hallway that leads to the bedroom.)
Thing 2 (Thing 1's voice) (Off-screen): ♪There's always some fish, some blotchedy one.♪
(The Things slide past the boy, and he runs right into the next shot.)
Thing 1 and Thing 2 (Off-screen): ♪There's always some fish, some sour-belly fish. There's always some fish, some fish.♪
(Thing 1 dribbles the fishbowl as Thing 2 runs up the stairs)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪If your nerves are getting nervous, and your house is topsy-turvous,♪
(Thing 1 throws the fishbowl into the air. And we see reused animation of the water and the fish falling, now with the teapot in place of the fishbowl.)
♪they will both at your service on the run!♪
(The fishbowl falls through Thing 2's arms forming a basketball hoop, and the boy runs right to catch the fishbowl.)
♪They'll find my long-lost♪
(The boy runs left to catch the water and Fish. The boy grunts as he trips and lets the fishbowl slide out of his hands.)
♪moss-covered, three-handled family gradunza,♪
(The camera focuses on the entrance to the kitchen as the fishbowl slides away from the screen)
♪Thing 2♪
(Screen cuts to The Cat and Sally as the fishbowl slides past them left across the screen)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): ♪and Thing 1!♪♪
Act 2 Transcript Part 2[]
(The Fish jumps out of the fishbowl and walks on his tail to the bouncy music. The camera follows him walking right, until he reaches The Cat's umbrella, which he is standing with. Fish kicks the umbrella, making Cat fall over and hit the floor. Then, Fish walks up to Cat and pulls off one of his whiskers.)
Fish (Mad): Out! Out! Out of this house!
Cat in the Hat (Shocked): Out!? (Stands) Out!? Why, every house should have a cat in it. Curled up by the fireplace, a little warm...
Fish (Mad, lost it): (Jumps up) OUT! And take those Things with you! Out! (Jumps left out of the shot)
Cat in the Hat (Confused): Take the Things?
(We cut to Fish hopping into the shot from the right. He jumps back into the fishbowl and turns right as the camera zooms in on him.)
Cat in the Hat (Confused) (Off-screen): Who ever heard of a house without Things in it?
Fish (Mad): Th-they're not Things, they're... they're... (Points right) And you're not a cat!
Cat in the Hat (Confused) (Off-screen): Hmm?
(We cut to Cat looking left in confusion)
Fish (Mad) (Off-screen): Who ever heard of a six-foot cat?
(Having had enough of Fish's behavior, Cat retorts back at he picks up the fishbowl.)
Cat in the Hat (Mad): But I am a cat!
(In the next shot, the camera follows Cat as he walks to the window and sets the fishbowl down.)
Technically, I'm a Cat in a Hat.
Fish (Mad): Y-y-you're not a Cat in a Hat! Th-th-That's not a hat! Y-y-you're not a cat! Y-you're a...
Act 2 Transcript Part 3 ("I'm a Cat in a Hat (In French, Chat Chapeau) (Part 1)")[]
(We see Sally standing behind Cat as he yells at Fish)
Cat in the Hat (Mad): I am indeed a cat! And this...
[TRUMPET BLARE]
indeed...
[TRUMPET BLARE]
Cat in the Hat (Smiling): Is a hat!
(Cat looks behind him and glares at Sally on the final trumpet blare, then Cat starts to sing while pointing to himself and his hat.)
♪In English, Cat, Hat. In French, Chat, Chapeau. It really is quite obvious, don't you know? In English, Cat, Hat!♪
(Cat pulls his hat off, revealing small red cap on his head.)
♪In French, Chat, Chapeau!♪
(Camera follows Cat marching right as he counts in French)
Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, here we go!
(Thing 1 and Thing 2 jump out from behind the kitchen door in skirts and high-heel boots. They dance to the "Can-Can" musical cue. The kids watch in amazement and we cut back to the Things dancing. They reveal their butts on the last note of the music, which have their names. Then we cut to The Cat bowing as he sings the next verse.)
Cat in the Hat: ♪I repeat, Cat, Hat. In French, Chat, Chapeau.♪
(Cat pulls his hat off, revealing he is wearing a white sombrero.)
♪In Spanish, El Gato in a Sombrero.♪
(We cut to the boy and Sally marching back forth, with the boy wearing a sombrero.)
Kids: ♪He's a Cat in a Hat, he's a Chat in a Chapeau. He also is a Gato in a Sombrero.♪
(The kids stop marching, and march in place in the middle of the frame.)
Olé! Olé! Olé, Olé-o!
(Cat sets a sombrero down and dances around it during the musical cue, "El Toro - Flamenca". As soon as the music stops, Cat stops dancing as he looks at the screen confused.)
Cat in the Hat: (Turns his head right) Where were we? (Turns his head left and remembers) Oh yes!
(The song comes back on as Cat walks left out of the shot. He pulls the sombrero off his head, revealing his signature hat, and in the next shot, the Fish swims up to him while glaring.)
♪Cat, Hat! In French, Chat, Chapeau!♪
(Cat pulls his hat off, revealing his sombrero.)
♪In Spanish, El Gato in a Sombrero.♪
(Cat pulls off his sombrero, revealing a German hat as he walks right into the next shot. Cat sits at the piano where the kids are.)
Cat in the Hat (Spoken): ♪And I'll tell you something more now, you listen to me good.♪
(Cat plays the piano as he starts singing in German)
♪In German, I'm a katze und dies ist mein hut.♪
Cat in the Hat (Sung) (While pointing to his German hat): ♪Ist das nicht ein katze hut?♪
Kids (While shaking their heads up and down): ♪Ja [Yah], das ist ein katze hut! (Look at each other) Katze hut! (Turn to Cat) Katze hut!♪
(We cut to Cat playing the piano)
Kids (Off-screen): ♪Ja, das ist ein katze hut!♪♪
(We cut to the Things dressed in lederhosen and hats. They dance to the "Schnitzelbank" musical cue, and they raise their hands on the last note of the music.)
Act 2 Transcript Part 4 ("I'm a Cat in a Hat (In French, Chat Chapeau) (Part 2)")[]
Cat in the Hat: Now, if you're in a receptive state... of mind, I'll recapitulate.
(We cut to a close-up of Cat's gloved hands playing the piano keys quickly. The speed of his piano playing, causes a music note to fly at the screen. Cat fades into the music of the screen as more music notes fly to him while teleporting.)
♪Cat, Hat! In French, Chat, Chapeau!♪
(Cat pulls his hat off, revealing his sombrero.)
♪In Spanish, El Gato in a Sombrero.♪
(Cat pulls off his sombrero, revealing a German hat.)
In German, I'm a katze in a hut, and don't you know?
(Cat pulls off his German hat, and in the next shot, Cat is shown in a red winter hat. He is now in a location, not inside the kids' house.)
I'm a gwonka in a bonkequank...
(Camera zooms out, revealing the rest of Cat's winter garb, consisting of a white puffy coat, and red mittens.)
in Eskimo.
Fish (Confused): You're a gwonka in a bonkequank in Eskimo?
(We cut The Cat with the Kids, who are also now in their winter clothing.)
Cat in the Hat: (To Fish) Right!
Kids: ♪He's a gwonka in a bonkequank in Eskimo! Ist das nicht ein bonkequank? Ja, das ist ein katze bonkequank!♪
(The Things run past the kids. Thing 1 and Thing 2 are also dressed in winter clothes. In the next shot, the Things run inside the brim of a striped red cap, only for it to spring up, forming an igloo.)
Kids (Off-screen): ♪Gwunka-bunka. Gwunka-bunka. Yes indeedy, that is so.♪
(In the next shot, the Things are hauling the kids' sleigh like snow dogs.)
Kids (On-screen): ♪He's a gwonka in a bonkequank in Eskimo!♪♪
(The sled is pulled out of the shot right, then the sleigh is pulled from right to left across the screen behind the igloo. Then we cut back to Fish and Cat. Cat is now in his original form, while Fish, is now slowly starting to warm up to Cat's antics.)
Fish: Now, to be certain I have this straight, I'll re-recapitulate.
("Cat, Hat" starts up again as Fish puts on Cat's hat and switches to the French cap)
Fish (Spoken): ♪Cat, Hat! In French, Chat, Chapeau!♪
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): Good!
(Fish switches from his French cap to a sombrero)
Fish (Sung): ♪In Spanish, you're a Gato in a Sombrero.♪
Cat in the Hat (Impressed) (On-screen): Hmm!
Fish (Spoken): ♪In German, you're a katze in a hut, I also know...♪
Cat in the Hat (Impressed): Perfect!
(We cut to an outer shot, with the Fish now wearing a white puffy goat and a red hat and mittens)
Fish (Spoken): ♪You're a gwonka in a bonkequank in Eskimo!♪♪
(After the last note, Cat turns his head to the screen.)
Cat in the Hat (Impressed): By George, I think he's got it!
Act 2 Transcript Part 5 ("I'm a Cat in a Hat (In French, Chat Chapeau) (Part 3)")[]
Fish (Spoken): ♪Now, if you will allow me, sir, but don't think I'm pushin'.♪
(After the shot of Cat looking left, we cut to Fish putting on a Russian hat.)
♪I think that I can tell you what you are in - in - in Russian!♪
Watch:
(Fish jumps out of the teapot and dances on his tail)
Fish (Sung): ♪Chapka, shlyapa. You're a chapka in a shlyapa...♪♪
(Fish jumps on the last note)
Fish and Chorus (On the last note): HEY!
(Fish lands in the fishbowl)
Cat in the Hat: I am?
(Fish shakes his head up and down and we cut to Cat behind a painting)
Why that's splendid!
(Cat pulls down his hat and throws it off revealing his Russian hat)
♪I'm... a...♪
(We cut to Fish, and music slowly starts up as we cut to The Cat in the Hat shuffling to the music.)
♪chapka... in... a... shlyapa. I'm a...♪
(We cut to Fish swinging his hips to the beat)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪chapka... in... a... shlyapa.♪
(We cut back to Cat shuffling faster to the music)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): ♪I'm... a... chapka in a shlyapa! (Kick dances right) I'm a chapka in a shlyapa! (Kick dances left) I'm a chapka in a shlyapa!♪
(We cut to Fish clapping)
Cat in the Hat (Spoken) (Off-screen): ♪I'm a chapka, in a shlyapa!♪
(Camera follows Cat right as he starts losing his balance and singing faster and faster)
Cat in the Hat (Spoken) (On-screen): ♪I'm a chapka, in a shlyapa! I'm a chapka, in a shlyapa! I'm a chapka, in a shlyapa!♪♪
(Cat tumbles through a doorway and screams as he falls down the stairs. He runs out the doorway as he shouts until the music stops. Cat's Russian hat is now tattered and torn, and his whiskers are a mess. Two second later, he talks normal.)
Cat in the Hat (Recomposed): That's enough of that. (Pulls down his Russian hat and throws it off revealing his normal hat) I'm a cat in a hat.
Act 2 Transcript Part 6 ("I'm a Cat in a Hat (In French, Chat Chapeau) (Part 4)")[]
(A cymbal crash plays as the curtains close, then the curtain opens as Thing 1 and Thing 2 jump into the middle of the shot. They dance on two separate platforms.)
Thing 1 and Thing 2: ♪He's a cat of many countries, He's a cat of many hats.♪
Fish: He's a guffee is a busbee!
Thing 1 and Thing 2: He's a snaka in a snatz!
(We cut to the boy and Sally in Scottish outfits as they dance a jig)
Fish, The Things, and The Kids (Voice-over): ♪And in Scotland, up in Scotland, in Bonnie Scotland...♪
(We cut to the screen following Cat as he marching right. Cat is shown with bagpipes.)
Cat in the Hat (Voice-over): ♪In Bonnie Scotland, I'm a... (Cat blows the bagpipes) in a... (Cat blows the bag pipes three times)♪
Fish, The Things, and The Kids (Voice-over): ♪In Bonnie Scotland, he's a... (Cat blows the bagpipes) in a... (Cat blows the bag pipes three times)♪
(We cut to Cat standing on top of a hill while wearing skis. Cat pushes himself down and in the next shot, the camera follows Cat skiing right.)
Fish, The Things, and The Kids (Voice-over): ♪In Switzerland, in Switzerland, In Switzer-witzer-witzerland.♪
Cat in the Hat (Voice-over): ♪I'm a yodel-yodel-yodel in a yodel-ey-ee-hoo.♪
(Camera stops moving at the middle of a slope, Cat, Thing 1, Thing 2, the boy, Sally, and Fish ski left over the slope.)
Fish, The Things, and The Kids (Voice-over): ♪He's a yodel-yodel-yodel in a yodel-ey-ee-hoo!♪
(Cat puts on an Irish hat and has a cane in his hand)
Cat in the Hat: And what am I in dear old Ireland?
Boy: Why, you're a kait in a kinfaret.
Cat in the Hat: And in Holland?
Sally: You're, uh, let me see. Oh, you're a kat in a hoed!
Cat in the Hat: Glory (Leans his face to the camera) be!
(After two seconds of silence, Cat pulls away from the screen and pulls multiple hats off his head as Thing 1 and Thing 2 march in place behind him.)
Thing 1 and Thing 2 (Voice-over): ♪He's a cat of many countries, He's a cat of many hats. Many, many foreign countries, and an awful lot of hats!♪
(After the hats fill the screen, the hats scatter, revealing Fish on his striped fishbowl.)
Things and Fish (Voice-over): ♪In Boogoo-Boogoo, he's just darling. He's a skoogoo in aswali.♪
Kids and Things (Voice-over): ♪He's a Baka in Abet!♪
(We cut to the kids kick-dancing backwards, away from the middle of the screen.)
Kids (On-screen) and Things (Voice-over): ♪He's a waka in awet!♪
(We cut to Cat dancing the pharaoh as they screen follows him right)
Cat in the Hat: Out in far-off Poda Poda, I'm a...
(Cat turns into a hat with hands and feet as the screen continues following him)
perk in a pagoda. I'm a futz in a fedora.
(Cat turns to normal and rises his head. He leans to the camera.)
How are things in Glocamora?
(A red diamond iris closes around Cat and the camera flies up to reveal the Cat posing at the Statue of Liberty)
Kids (Voice-over) (Spoken): ♪What a cat!♪
Fish (Voice-over) (Spoken): ♪What a cat!♪
Kids (Voice-over) (Spoken): ♪In a hat!♪
Fish (Voice-over) (Spoken): ♪In a hat!♪♪
Act 2 Transcript Part 7[]
(Cat suddenly hears a car horn, and then Fish as he sees something out the window and becomes concerned.)
Fish: (Throws his hat off and turns to the screen with worry) Your mother!
Boy (Now worried): Mother? (His hat falls off)
Sally (Now worried): Mother?
(The Things become horrified, and run back into the crate with their hats flying off their heads. The crate door closes itself, and after a few shakes it disappears into thin air. Then we cut to Cat marching to the door and opening it.)
Cat in the Hat: Thank you... for a fascinating afternoon.
(Cat closes the door and we cut to the kids still tangled in the mess in the house.)
Sally (Worried): What do we do now?
Fish (Worried): She's passing Mrs. Blumberg's house!
(In the next shot, the camera pans right until it reaches the closed door.)
Act 2 Transcript Part 8 ("Sweep (Sweep Up the Memories)")[]
(Heartfelt music starts playing as the door opens, revealing the Cat in the Hat riding his cleaning machine. The camera follows Cat as he drives. His machine starts vacuuming the hats and other fallen objects.)
Cat in the Hat: ♪Sweep, Sweep up the memories. Those old, untidy memories.♪
(We cut to Fish looking at the window)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪Broken, mixed-up memories.♪
(We cut to Cat driving to the screen)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): ♪Of what we had one day.♪
Fish (Worried): (Turns to the screen) She's passing Mrs. Thompson's house!
(The camera pans left to the picture frame, lamp, and apple on the table.)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪Sweep, Sweep out the nonsense.♪
(Gloved robot arms pop out of Cat's vehicle and wipe the marker off the picture, apple, and lampshade.)
♪That crazy happy nonsense.♪
(We cut to the boy throwing his net and some stuff back into the closet where he got those things)
♪This world's too old for nonsense.♪
(We cut to Sally putting the clothes back into the drawer. We cut to the rug in the hall where the machine is parked.)
♪Sweep,♪
(The same robotic arms lift the rug and sweep the dust under the rug)
♪just sweep it all away.♪
Fish (Worried): Here she is! (Turns to the screen) Coming up the driveway!
Cat in the Hat: ♪Everything in a state of grace.♪
(Two robot claws pop out of Cat's vehicle and pick up the kids, setting them back in their chairs.)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪Everything in its proper place.♪
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): ♪No more rainbows for us to chase.♪
(A gloved robot hand scrubs the marker off the cabinet and window blind)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪No more games to play.♪
Fish (Worried): Garage door's open! (Turns to the screen) She's inside the garage!
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪Sweep.♪
(Cat's cleaning machine drives up to a picture frame of a man in a mustache)
Cat in the Hat (Off-screen): ♪Sweep up the laughter.♪
(The same gloved robot hand scrubs the marker off the portrait, and Cat drives past the screen from left to right.)
Cat in the Hat (On-screen): ♪There's no more time for laughter.♪
(The Cat's cleaning machine drives away from the screen as the claws and gloved robot hands deactivate and go back into the machine)
♪At least,♪
(In the next shot, the camera follows Cat driving right.)
♪not until after I come back.♪
Fish (Worried): Now she's taking the groceries out of the car!
Cat in the Hat: And you know?
Fish (Worried): (Points to the window) Here she comes!
Cat in the Hat: ♪I... just... may!♪♪
(Cat opens the door and slowly drives out the backdoor and closes it)
Act 2 Transcript Part 9 (Ending)[]
(The Fish turns to the front door, and dives underwater as Mom opens the door off-screen. Then the boy and Sally turn their heads to the screen.)
Off-screen Mom: Hi, kids. Hope you had fun today. Did you have any fun? Tell me, what did you do?
(Screen cuts to Fish)
Well, you kids will never believe this, but I could almost swear I saw a cat!
(Fish wakes up in shock)
A cat in a hat, mind you.
(Screen cuts to the kids)
moss-covered, three-handled family gradunza.
(The Fish rises up to say something, but decides to hold his tongue and sinks back down.)
(An instrumental portion of "Sweep Up the Memories" plays as the cartoon ends. The kids face the screen as the camera slowly pulls away from the window, not knowing what to tell their mother. Screen fades to the camera pulling away from the house until it stops moving. Then, Cat's hat bounces as it moves across the bottom of the screen from right to left, and the screen fades to black.)
(Starting with the 2012 Warner Bros. DVD/Blu-Ray Deluxe Edition release, a still of "The Cat in the Hat Productions" fades in, then fades to black.)
END CREDITS/CLOSING LOGOS[]
animation:
HAL AMBRO
WARREN BATCHELDER
MANNY GOULD
GEORGE NICHOLAS
MANNY PEREZ
PHIL ROMAN
ROBOERT TAYLOR
DON WILLIAMS
layout:
ROBERT GIVENS
DICK UNG
background:
RICHARD H. THOMAS
camera:
JOHN BURTON JR.
RAY LEE
film editing:
LEE GUNTHER
ROGER DONLEY
production supervision:
JIM FOSS
production coordinator:
HARRY LOVE
voices:
DAWES BUTLER
PAMELYN FERDIN
TONY FRAZIER
GLORIA CAMACHO
THURL RAVENSCROFT
LEWIS MORFORD
THE SONGS:
lyrics by DR. SEUSS
music by DEAN ELLIOT
music conducted by
ERIC ROGERS
music recording engineer
ERIC A. THOMLINSON
storyboard by
CHUCK JONES
teleplay by Dr. Seuss
(After the opening title music plays during the credits, the closing fanfare starts up as the DePatie-Freleng Films logo is shown. On the final note, Cat's hat appears on top of the "FILMS" part of the logo and the screen fades to black.)
THE END